Irene ☆ 아이린 (miss_aztec57) wrote in foe_of_reality,
Irene ☆ 아이린

my milkshake (brings all the boys to the yard)

Pairings: Xiumin/Luhan
Genre: AU
Rating: G
Wordcount: 3,190
Summary: Lu Han develops a fixation for a certain McDonald's employee. Minseok really hates his job.

“Would you like fries with that?”

The man makes a sound of annoyance and nods, thrusting a hand of cash in Minseok’s face as he tries to calm down his wife who has apparently, just found a pair of lace underwear that is definitely not hers, in their house – or so Minseok has gathered from the screeching voice that comes through the earpiece of his phone.

Minseok sighs and punches in the order, offering a bored smile.

“It won’t take a moment,” he says, trying to insert as much joy into his voice as possible, and failing miserably. After working at the same McDonald’s for three years in a row, all enthusiasm taken in his job has been drowned in oil, deep fried, and fed to hungry children.

He glances at the clock on the register and wrinkles his nose a little when he calculates he still has exactly four hours and thirty-seven minutes of his shift left. At least it isn’t an overnight he supposes, there is absolutely nothing worse than drunken men who try to size him up behind the counter and order non-existent burgers before cackling like mad and ambling away.

The man on the phone steps to the side, wincing as a series of profanities are screamed into his ear. Minseok inwardly feels a misplaced sense of amusement and lets his lips quirk into a smile.

“Hello, what would you like?” he asks, ever so politely to the next customer.

The boy who is waiting is whispering to his friends, and they keep eyeing Minseok before turning to each other and giggling. The boy is pushed forwards and he grins widely at Minseok. Minseok narrows his eyes a little, not entirely in the mood for whatever joke this kid is about to tell him.

“You’re really cute,” the boy says bluntly, and although his cheeks are tainted pink, he resolutely holds Minseok’s gaze. Minseok watches him, unamused.

“Did you want to eat something or not?”

The boy blinks and his eyes are rather wide, blond hair swept across his forehead.

“I would like you,” he says, “Can I have you to take away?” Minseok gives him a little credit for managing to get through such a cheesy line without vomiting.

“I’m sorry, I’m not on the menu,” he says slowly in a deadpan voice, with a prickle of irritation.

The boy just keeps on smiling, apparently unfazed.

“My name is Lu Han,” he says, hands braced against the counter, fingers curled around the edge.

Minseok exhales deeply.

“Nice to meet you Lu Han, now either order something or get out of my line.”

Lu Han grins.

“It was nice to meet you too,” he sings, and then his is gone, off laughing and chattering away with his friends again as they walk out of the restaurant. Minseok rolls his eyes and drawls for the next customer to step forward as he checks the time and it’s now four hours and twenty-five minutes until his shift ends.

Lu Han turns up again a week later.

Minseok is cleaning the counter during a relatively lazy shift when he senses someone walk over.

“Hi, what can I get for you?” he says, politeness on autopilot. He almost leaps back in shock when he sees two large brown eyes stare back at him from far too close.

“Hello!” Lu Han trills and Minseok wonders how many coffees this kid must drink to be so perky.

“What do you want?” Minseok asks none too nicely.

Lu Han looks insulted.

“How rude. Do you usually talk to your customers like that?”

“You’re not a customer if you don’t order anything,” Minseok retorts.

Lu Han laughs loudly, and Minseok thinks he sounds like a donkey. He says as much to Lu Han, who in turn throws him another affronted look.

“Fine, I want a Quarter Pounder and a small Coke. No fries.”

He flashes Minseok his signature (albeit creepy) smile and leans across the counter, arms crossed and shirt hanging low to reveal his collarbones. Minseok snorts a little because what type of person wears a cotton shirt in winter? Regardless of how flawless his skin looks beneath it.

“Eat in or take away?”

“Take away,” he replies coolly. Minseok lets his eyes wander for a moment, watching how Lu Han’s eyelashes flutter against his cheeks, slightly red from the cold, before he averts his gaze. Lu Han presses his lips together and sighs softly.

“You’re so cute,” he says, almost wistfully, and Minseok wonders if he even realises that he’s spoken out loud.

“Look here kid, I don’t know what your friends dared you to do to me, but I’m not playing your game.”

Lu Han wrinkles his nose and it’s utterly adorable and Minseok kind of wants to poke it.

“I’m not a kid, I’m actually twenty three,” he replies, fingers drawing nonsensical things into the marble of the counter. Minseok raises an eyebrow. Honestly, that did surprise him – he had thought Lu Han was still a teenager. But he doesn’t let the shock register for long as the paper bag carrying Lu Han’s order is pushed into his hand.

“Have a good night,” Minseok says, offering Lu Han his food and breathing a small sigh of relief when Lu Han takes it immediately. Lu Han looks slightly upset, bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he looks at Minseok. He seems like he is going to say something, but then he turns to leave, offering one last smile.

“You have a good night too Minseok,” he says, and Minseok nods after him.

After processing an order for one hundred chicken nuggets, (“no,” he tells Jongdae who is making the orders, “unfortunately there isn’t a mistake in the number”) he turns back around only to look up into the eyes of his not-so-favourite but still-very-frustratingly- attractive customer.

“Did you miss me?” Lu Han asks and Minseok wonders if he could ask for a restraining order.

“I saw you three days ago,” he replies, with only a tiny bit of snark dripping through his words. He mentally congratulates himself on improving his control.

“That’s not an answer,” Lu Han says, lips quirking into a smile.

Minseok huffs and rolls his eyes. Lu Han just laughs.

“I knew you missed me!”

Minseok looks at him.

“Do you have an addiction to McDonalds or something?”

Lu Han shakes his head, unsettling his perfect hair. Minseok, on instinct, almost reaches over to fix it up. He catches himself halfway through the action but it’s already too late and Lu Han’s eyes have widened considerably, both of his eyebrows shooting up his forehead.

He watches Minseok curiously and Minseok, damning his entire existence, feels his cheeks flush red.

“No,” Lu Han says slowly, “I don’t have an addiction to McDonalds.” A smile creeps across his lips. “I might have an addiction to you though.”

And Minseok supposes such a line should be cringe-worthy, but instead, his heart quivers and he feels slightly sick.

“Lu Han, we’ve been over this okay? You just like me because I’m the strange guy behind the counter who gives you food.”

There is a line forming behind Lu Han and Minseok is all too aware of his manager’s gaze burning into the back of his head.

“If that was right, I would be over at the café across the road. Their food is better at least and that Chinese waiter is really cute.” A smile flirts at the corner of Lu Han’s lips, teasing Minseok. Minseok just gestures to the side.

“Lu Han, you have to order something or move.”

Lu Han wrinkles his nose at the menu, before his gaze returns to Minseok’s face.

“You win this round Kim Minseok!” he says, with a dramatic sigh, as he spins away and makes for the exit.

Minseok certainly does not crack a smile.

It would be an understatement to say that Minseok hates his job. It’s not the abusive customers or the ridiculous orders or the poor wages – it’s because of the utter monotony of it all. As an aspiring architect, Minseok loves a challenge, he loves when someone creates something so fantastically strange and unique and it has everyone talking. He dreams of creating and inspiring and inducing awe in those who see his work.

He definitely does not dream of overcooked meat patties and slices of plastic cheese.

(Unfortunately though, as it happens, he actually needs money to get through university.)

“Why am I doing this?” Minseok moans as he shoves a serving of fries into a small paper packet. Jongdae, his self-proclaimed best friend and co-worker, looks over. His work shirt is unbuttoned and Minseok is pretty sure their manager, Kris, would flip out if he saw it, but Jongdae seems to be completely oblivious to any such impending doom.

“I don’t know Minseok,” Jongdae replies, voice dripping with sarcasm, “Why are you always asking me that?”

Minseok makes a face and throws a handful of burnt fries at him. Jongdae dodges them all effortlessly, slapping some lettuce onto a bun.

“Anyway,” he says, “It’s not so bad. I see you’ve found yourself a cute boyfriend.”

Minseok frowns.


“That cute blond guy who comes in all the time now.”

Oh. Him.

Minseok goes to give a harsh retort but well, he supposes Lu Han is kind of cute. With his large eyes and pretty button nose. And his smile is so adorable; the way it creases his skin all the way from his nose to the corner of his lips and wrinkles his eyes. It’s nice the way he says Minseok’s name, a little accented, but it sounds so wonderful on his tongue. There’s also the way he-


Minseok blinks to see Jongdae looking at him, eyebrow raised.

“Are you okay? You haven’t spoken in like three minutes.”

Minseok clears his throat, his face colouring.

“He’s not my boyfriend?” he tries weakly and Jongdae laughs far too uproariously. Minseok throws another dozen fries at his head and that’s when they hear the angry shouts of their manager.

“Oops,” Jongdae whispers, although his eyes sparkle with amusement.

Minseok glares at him just as Kris appears behind them both, a furious look in his eyes, and starts berating them about health and safety work practices.

Lu Han appears almost every day for two weeks straight. Sometimes he doesn’t even approach the counter – he’ll just make himself comfortable in a seat for half an hour and watch Minseok. It’s very distracting, and Minseok often finds his gaze directed towards Lu Han, watching the way Lu Han’s lips curl into a tiny smile, how his eyes sparkle when he notices Minseok is looking back at him. And when Lu Han sends him a curt wave that seems almost reserved, Minseok feels a trickle of affection.

It’s nice, Minseok thinks, to have company on days he needs it. When a child spills Coke all over the floor, Lu Han jumps up to help, a perfect look of shock on his face as his small hands work beside Minseok’s, napkins soaking through the liquid. When a customer yells at Minseok for giving them a burger with pickles when they apparently specifically stated they didn’t want any, Lu Han makes funny faces behind the customer and Minseok feels his anger immediately dissipate. (The subsequent giggle doesn’t do much to help him though, only further enraging the lady who promptly throws her food in Minseok’s face and storms out)

It’s another late night shift and Minseok is wiping down tables, grimacing at the sauce stains that line the white plastic, the pieces of onion littering the floor and the remains of half-eaten burgers. Lu Han sits near the window at the back of the place, a laptop open in front of him as he types quickly.

His eyebrows are furrowed in concentration, and Minseok looks at him for a moment, a smile creasing his lips almost instantly.

Lu Han must sense his gaze because he looks up and their eyes meet.

“Did you want me to help?” he asks and Minseok shakes his head, the smile still playing on his lips.

“You know you don’t actually work here,” he replies slowly, and Lu Han snorts a laugh.

“Thank you for that brand new information,” Lu Han says dryly and Minseok chuckles and moves closer, holding the dirty cleaning rag loosely in one hand. Lu Han smiles at him and it’s a nice smile, indenting his cheeks and wrinkling the corner of his eyes.

“It’s so quiet tonight,” Minseok says and Lu Han nods, sipping at the frozen Coke he ordered about half an hour ago. Most of it has melted now though, only a few small pieces of ice floating inside the plastic cup.

It only takes Minseok a full second of thought for him to decide to slip into the chair opposite Lu Han.

Lu Han looks at him, eyebrow raised.

“What are you doing?”

And Minseok isn’t entirely sure, but the way Lu Han’s eyes light up happily tells him he’s made the right choice.

“I’m going to sit with you,” he says and Lu Han ducks his head in this uncharacteristically shy action that causes Minseok’s heart to skip a beat. His eyes are curious when he looks up at Minseok again.


“Because it’s quiet and I’m bored and…I want to get to know you.”

Lu Han’s following grin is blinding.

There are two rules Minseok knows are law.

The first is to never, ever, put any part of your body too close to the oil in the deep fryer.

The second is to never develop a crush on boys who stalk you at your job.

Apparently he is struggling to adhere to the second.

“Hey Lu Han,” Minseok says as the boy walks up to order. It’s been a long shift and Minseok is feeling slightly self-conscious of how gross he must look right now, hair stuck to his forehead from sweat and his cheeks tinged red from the heat in the kitchen.

Lu Han leans forward on his hands.

“You look exhausted,” he says, eyes scanning Minseok quickly as he sends him a sympathetic smile.

Minseok nods, lips twisting.

“Just a little,” he replies and Lu Han hums.

“I’d like a small Chocolate Sundae today,” he says, “with nuts too.”

Minseok nods. It’s nearing eleven at night and there is only one other employee working at Drive-Thru with his manager somewhere out the back, so he decides to make it himself seeing as there isn’t any other customers in the store.

He grabs the plastic container and begins to fill it up slowly with ice-cream.

“So, how is university going?” Lu Han asks. He twists around and props himself up on the counter, legs dangling before him. Minseok gives him a look of disapproval but doesn’t say anything – it’s too late and he can just wipe it down later if he has to.

“It’s alright,” Minseok says, carefully moving the container so the ice-cream sits perfectly at a peak. “I have an architecture assignment coming up where I have to do the floor plans for a house.”

Lu Han tilts his head sideways; interested.

“Oh? That sounds like fun.”

Minseok snorts a laugh as he drizzles chocolate sauce over the ice-cream.

“Hmm, it is. But it’s also hard. They’ve given us so many restrictions and design ideas we have to show have influenced us.”

He walks back over and is about to hand the Sundae across to Lu Han when he realises he forgot the nuts
“Oh hang on, let me grab your nuts- I mean, um, the nuts for the sundae”

He turns around before Lu Han can see the red flare across his cheeks and busies himself with the Sundae again. When he finally passes it back, complete with nuts and all, Lu Han’s fingers touch his for a moment before he takes his order.

“Thanks,” he says. His smile is warm and Minseok kind of wants to capture it with his lips.

“That’s alright.”

He fidgets a little when Lu Han doesn’t go to leave right away. Lu Han keeps looking at him, all beautiful eyes and that wonderful smile and then, without warning, he leans forward, pressing a soft kiss against Minseok’s cheek.

When he pulls back he is blushing profusely and Minseok knows for a fact that his own face must have coloured just as much.

“See you soon,” Lu Han says, voice a little breathless as he slowly walks out of the restaurant.

Jongdae is far too ecstatic to hear the news the next day.

“So I guess you could say your milkshake really does bring all the boys to the yard?” he says, pointedly popping a straw into the chocolate milkshake he has just made for a customer. Minseok lets out a pained sound halfway between a laugh and a choke.

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

Jongdae grins wickedly and spends the rest of the shift humming Kelis’ “Milkshake” none too subtly.

Lu Han doesn’t appear for a few days, and then the days turn into a week, and Minseok would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried. But on a Saturday afternoon shift, his fears subside.

“Lu Han!” Minseok says, and he doesn’t even try to hide the obvious excitement in his voice. Lu Han looks at him with wide eyes, and a small smile and Minseok thinks he looks as perfect as ever. He walks up to the counter, shifting his weight a little awkwardly as he throws Minseok a timid glance.

“I’d like a Big Mac thank you,” he says politely, and his gaze flits around, never settling firmly on Minseok, and Minseok realises that Lu Han is leaving the next move up to him. Minseok swallows.

“Sure thing,” he replies evenly, as Lu Han hands the money over.

He leaves the counter to go put Lu Han’s order together, grabbing the burger off Jongdae and placing it inside a bag. When he passes Lu Han’s order over, he offers a smile and Lu Han seems slightly disheartened but before he can move too far, Minseok grabs his wrist.

“You almost forgot something,” he says quietly, and he presses their hands together, slipping him a receipt with a hastily scribbled mobile number on the back alongside the words, I get off at 7.

Lu Han uncurls his fingers and looks down, a smile creeping across his lips.

Lu Han walks in at 6:59 on the dot.

At exactly 7:00, Minseok pulls him close and kisses him hard.

(Thirty minutes later sees them kissing in Lu Han’s car, whispering and giggling, as Lu Han complains that Minseok smells like fries.)


Melissa: or
Melissa: even tho he always smells like fries
Melissa: and hates his job

lesson learnt: never talk to melissa on skype
Tags: fanfiction, genre: au, genre: comedy, oneshot, xiumin/luhan
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